


Skates And Bruises

by moonix



Series: Salt Bros & Roller Derby Vixens [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Exy, Alternate Universe - Roller Derby, Andrew is such a poser I love him, Bi Renee, Found Family, Friendship, Multi, Roller Derby Vixens, Trans Character, casual crying, smoothies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 17:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13839153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonix/pseuds/moonix
Summary: Renee joins the bi squad of the Vixens, hangs out with her bestie, and waits for the right moment to ask Jean out on a date.





	Skates And Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who left a comment on part one, I'm so happy so many of you liked it so much! A lot of people were interested in a continuation of this AU, and Renee is my fav girl so I focused on her for this part (though you will also get some glimpses into Andrew and Neil's new relationship along the way). It took me a long time to write because I've been down with a cold and other Stuff and I'm not 100% happy with it but too tired to rewrite it tbh. I might possibly revisit this universe again in the future though I should probably focus on my Big Bang fic next, so... we'll see!
> 
> Hmm, what to warn for... very small mention of periods and transphobia, I think that's it? Some crude language, brief discussion of cheating? Also, I'm not sure if I did my usual thing of being too ~vague so just in case it isn't clear, Jean is a trans boy in this AU!
> 
> (Listen... I know you all love your lesbian Renee and I like her too, but I'm claiming her for the bis in this one. Let me have this.)

Smoke was curling up from the end of Andrew's cigarette like a beckoning finger. He looked like a painting – his silhouette smudged against the setting sun, the black gleam of his car against the smooth, worn leather of his jacket, the sunglasses sliding down his nose on a film of sweat. Renee hitched her bag higher on her shoulder and approached him, making a show of looking around.

“Neil not here?”

“No,” Andrew said, scowling. “Did you expect him to be?”

Renee gave a pointed glance at his outfit, which he ignored, and climbed into the passenger seat as Andrew opened the door for her. He ground his cigarette out under his heel and got in the driver's seat, offering her a bag of candy.

“Thanks,” Renee said, picking out a toffee. Andrew started the car and turned the volume of the radio down, something surprisingly old-fashioned though Renee couldn't pin down the musician.

“How did it go?”

“Well, I think,” Renee hummed. She looked down at her fingers with the chipped rainbow nails, prodding experimentally at the bruises hidden under her skirt. The pain felt good; like an accomplishment. A proof of hard work. “They've agreed to take me on.”

Andrew clicked his tongue. “Of course they did.”

Renee smiled at his faith in her and fiddled with her necklace. They stopped to pick up some food, then Andrew drove them to a quiet, deserted parking lot and motioned for her to climb up on the hood of the car with him, unwrapping their sandwiches. He had a flask of whisky, but Renee only took a small sip before handing it back, the smoky taste clinging to the back of her throat even as she washed it down with her iced tea.

“How is Neil?” she asked once they had finished their sandwiches. Andrew gave her one half of his chocolate chip muffin and stared off at the last potent sip of sunlight spilling over the horizon as he chewed.

“Fine,” he said at last. His voice turned sharper when he asked back, “How is Jean?”

“Fine,” Renee echoed with a smile. Andrew huffed and shoved the rest of his muffin into his mouth before pulling out another cigarette to smoke while Renee finished hers, courteously holding it off to the side and turning his head to blow the smoke into the breeze instead of her face.

Some days she wondered how she'd managed to make him like her so much. Or maybe “like” wasn't the right word.

“Have you talked to Neil about your concerns yet?” Renee prodded gently. She drained her iced tea and reached over smoothly to filch the cigarette from between Andrew's fingers, and he shot her a dirty look before lighting another for himself.

“I am not concerned,” he said, a hint of scorn bleeding through the word.

“Mm,” Renee made. “But have you?”

“No.”

She had to stop herself from suggesting that he could ask Jean for advice. For one thing, Andrew did not like Jean; for another – it was all well and good to give advice to a friend, another thing entirely to meddle in things that were none of her business. She wasn't sure if Andrew was aware that Jean was Neil's ex-boyfriend. She was pretty sure that Neil would not appreciate Jean talking about such personal things behind his back, even if he could maybe provide some helpful tips for Andrew on how to handle the issue.

“So you haven't slept with him yet,” Renee deduced, taking a drag off her stolen cigarette. Stars were beginning to stir above them, and the moon was a pale salt crust in an otherwise polished, cloudless sky.

“No,” Andrew repeated. “He's not ready.”

“How do you know?” Renee asked, flicking ash into the dry grass. Andrew's expression twitched and he turned his head away, watching the arc of the glowing butt of his cigarette as he flung it into the shrubbery.

“I won't be like them,” he murmured through clenched teeth, sounding like he was cold.

“Andrew,” Renee said sharply. “You're not. But you need to talk to him. He might say no, but at least then you'll know. Who knows? He might say yes.”

Andrew made a short, rough sound like a dried up laugh, coughed, then slid off the hood of the car and gathered up their trash. Renee finished her cigarette and joined him in the car so he could drive her home.

~

Renee's thighs ached. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle weekly derby practice on top of sparring sessions with Andrew and her kickboxing class, but she hoped it would get better with time. Right now she could barely walk, so she placed herself behind the serving station at the soup kitchen and tried to move as little as possible, smiling through the pain.

Jean was beside her, hair pulled back under a cap. It looked rather endearing. Janice, one of the older women running the kitchen, bustled past with an armful of donations, complaining about a recent surplus of canned beans, and told Jean to tuck the back of his shirt in with a disapproving glance at his very tight jeans. He flushed at the reprimand and Renee busied herself with the bean stew, scraping the ladle over some gunked-up bits at the bottom of the pot so she wouldn't laugh.

A little girl came up to them, done with eating. She hung around the serving station, eyeing the bread baskets, and Renee offered her another slice.

“Why does your boyfriend look like a woman?” the girl asked, munching on the crust. Jean's ears turned pink again and Renee looked at the girl.

“Let me ask you a question first,” she said. “Why do you have a mole on your elbow?”

The girl twisted her arm around to inspect the mole, then shrugged.

“Dunno. I just do.”

“See?” Renee said, smiling. She wasn't sure if she was doing this right, but Jean was watching her. “We don't get to choose what kind of bodies we are born with. Whether we're big or small, or have moles or freckles. If you looked like a boy, wouldn't you still be a girl?”

There was some nose-scrunching and Renee had the impression that Jean was trying not to grin at her clumsy lecture. She kept her eyes on the girl.

“I'm not a boy. Boys are dumb,” the kid snorted before trundling off with her bread.

“Very educational,” Jean commented slyly. Renee shook her head and smoothed down her apron, watching as the little girl climbed on her mother's lap across the room. The air conditioning was broken again and the room stale and sweltering hot, even this late in the year. She looked forward to the cool breezes and overripe sunlight of fall, the Halloween decorations and the pies.

They finished their shift and helped with the clean-up. Janice forced several cans of beans on them both before they left, and Renee walked Jean home, gently prodding and nudging until his words started to uncoil from their snail shell. He was self-conscious about his accent, but he wasn't inherently quiet; you just had to tickle a bit, know the right topics to tease him out of his silence. Today, he talked about Marseilles.

He was in the middle of describing to her, in excruciating detail, how to make the perfect tarte tatin, his voice a salty, briny murmur lapping against her shores, when they reached his dorms. He faltered and stopped, standing half in the shadow of the door frame and half still under the sharp blade of the sun.

“Do you like pears?” he asked her, tongue clumsy once again.

“I do,” Renee said. “Maybe you could show me how to make that tarte some time. It sounds wonderful.”

His heat-flushed neck darkened like ripening fruit.

“Yes, why not,” he nodded and gestured behind him with a slight grimace. “However, my kitchen is... inadequate.”

“That's alright,” Renee smiled, well aware that he was hoping to be invited to her apartment. “I'm sure we'll cope.”

They were quiet for a moment, the sun searing the skin on Renee's bare arms. The engine of a recently parked car ticked somewhere nearby.

“Goodbye, Jean,” Renee said at last. “Have a nice afternoon.”

“You, too,” Jean murmured. “Are you sure you do not want me to walk you home?”

She shook her head and thanked him, then, on an impulse, leaned in and brushed a chaste kiss against his cheekbone. His skin felt hot and smooth under her lips, and she left a sticky smear of lip gloss behind that he touched almost reverently with the tip of his finger.

He stayed outside and watched her walk away until she turned the corner.

~

“This is Renee,” Katelyn said, lacing up her skates. “She's new on the team. I thought I'd invite her along.”

“Yeah, we've met,” Neil said. He looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. The last time she'd seen him, Andrew had attacked his hair with product, teasing his fingers through the curls until Neil had shivered and ducked away. They'd gone out together, watched a drive-in movie in Andrew's car, sharing a bag of salted caramel popcorn and a few cigarettes, and afterwards Andrew had raised an eyebrow at her while they'd waited for Neil to finish in the bathroom at Burger King and Renee had bought them milkshakes and said, “He seems interesting.”

Renee tied her hair back with a glittery scrunchie and made sure that her kneepads were securely in place. It was another sunny day, the kind of sunny that smelled like sticky spilled ice cream, baked pavement and a milky excess of sunscreen. The streets were empty and Katelyn and Neil took off at high speed, wind whipping at their clothes. Renee did her best to keep up and enjoyed the burn in her thighs and the sweat pooling in the dip of her sternum. It was a good way to spend a Sunday morning.

They slowed down after an hour or so and Katelyn skated backward until she was next to Renee, letting Neil pull ahead in big, lazy loops.

“Having fun?” she grinned breathlessly, hair frizzing out under her helmet. Renee echoed the grin and took deep, gulping breaths to ease the stitch in her side.

“I think I'm lost,” she admitted, gazing around. “Is this your usual route?”

“Yeah, we always stop here to refuel,” Katelyn said, pointing to where Neil was zigzagging across a parking lot outside of a café. They caught up with him and went inside, the blast of cool air nearly making Renee dizzy.

“I'll have the Berry Wonder,” Katelyn told the bored girl behind the counter. “Neil? Mango Sunrise?”

“Gingersnap. With extra ginger.”

Renee took a bit longer, studying the blackboard boasting a wide variety of smoothie combinations and feeling the sweat trickle down her back. She settled on a bright green kiwi and lime, smiling when she thought about how Andrew would call it alien slime, and squeezed some honey in the cup before following the other two over to a table.

“Shouldn't you be in church right now or something?” Neil asked her, bluntly but not unfriendly. He'd already emptied half of his smoothie and was chewing on his straw.

“Faith is about more than going to church,” Renee said, touching her necklace. “I attend service when I feel the need to, but it's more of a private thing for me.”

“Sounds like a healthy attitude,” Katelyn said. “My parents are religious, but it's mostly about keeping up appearances for them. Sticking to tradition and all that.”

“Tradition is important, so long as we don't treat it like an unchangeable law of nature.”

“Wise words,” Katelyn agreed, toasting her with her berry smoothie. Neil looked bored but perked up once they went back outside, happy to put his skates to good use again, so Katelyn told him to go ahead while she and Renee went a bit slower and chatted some more.

They all stopped at the twins' apartment to shower and have breakfast. Renee borrowed some of Katelyn's spare clothes and was careful not to use up all the hot water. She towelled her hair dry and fumbled it into two braids, then she let Katelyn have the bathroom and went into the kitchen, where Aaron was making tea and Neil was sitting on the counter munching toast.

“I'm not a fucking child,” he said, glowering as he picked the crust off his toast. “I know how to use a condom, ok? Christ.”

“Fuck, that's not what I meant,” Aaron snapped.

Renee cleared her throat to announce her presence and asked if she could have a cup of tea. Aaron poured one for her in a bright pink mug with a rainbow and laughing marshmallows on it, and she added a splash of milk and some sugar while Neil grumbled something in Spanish that Aaron ignored. Deciding to give them some space to finish their conversation Renee took her tea over to Andrew's bedroom, knocked loudly and let herself in after waiting a little bit. Andrew was predictably still in bed, lying on his front with his head buried in a mound of pillows, though he stirred when she sat on the edge of his mattress and opened one eye to squint at her.

“Morning,” Renee chirped. “I have tea.”

There was a faint grunt, and then Andrew rolled onto his side and pushed himself up on one elbow, hair sticking up in several directions, and held his hand out for the mug. Another grunt and a grimace followed, which Renee took to mean that there wasn't enough sugar or caffeine in the beverage, but he still drank most of it before handing it back.

“Neil's here,” Renee told him, holding the mug in her lap to warm her hands.

“Hnn,” Andrew made, flopping back down.

“I finished your book,” Renee went on, glancing around the little blanket fort Andrew had made of his mattress. There was a reading lamp, a stack of books, a shoebox filled with snacks; a gnarled pair of bright orange earphones that Renee suspected Neil had gifted to him so he could listen to audiobooks to help him fall asleep, as well as a balled-up hoodie and a brand new box of condoms. She wondered if it had anything to do with Aaron's frustration with Neil.

“Do you mind if I borrow another one?” she asked, inspecting the pile of books closest to her. Andrew flapped his hand at her and she picked up an old, dusty copy of The Neverending Story, trailing her fingers over the embossed cloth cover.

“I'll let Neil know you're awake.”

“Mfuck off.”

“If you can say entire words you're definitely fit for company,” she grinned. “Katelyn wants to make waffles for breakfast, maybe Neil will be kind enough to bring you some.”

She left the tea by the side of his bed and went back to the kitchen. Neil and Aaron seemed to have solved their earlier argument and were instead bickering over the best type of jam (Aaron only liked seedless raspberry while Neil had some very strong opinions about blueberry), though Neil forgot his trail of thought when Renee told him that Andrew was up and coherent and wandered away to join him for a nap.

“Suppose you can't talk him out of it either,” Aaron muttered after a pause.

“Why would I do that?” Renee hummed, looking for the waffle iron. “They're good for each other, I think.”

Aaron grimaced and sighed before making more tea, but he didn't object.

~

_how do you politely tell someone who has no interest in sex that you want to suck his brains out through his cock_

Renee blinked down at the message from Andrew and pressed her knuckles against her mouth to keep her reaction contained. The locker room was loud and steamy, her teammates were walking around in all their glory comparing bruises and admiring Thea's new tattoo, and Marissa was singing shrilly in the shower. It would take some time for Renee to get used to changing out with these women. It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with her body – she had laid those demons to rest after puberty – or that she had a problem looking at another woman's nakedness. It was just... a bit much.

She texted Andrew back: _Maybe don't use those exact words. :)_

Then she put her phone back in her bag and finished getting dressed, finger-combing through her damp hair and folding her sweaty clothes into a plastic bag along with her towel.

“Hey,” someone said and she looked up to find Allison leaning against the locker next to her, already styled and dressed to the nines. She wondered how she did it so fast and so effortlessly; Renee hadn't even put her earrings back in yet. “Are you hungry?”

“Ah, yes,” Renee laughed. “I don't think I will ever not be hungry after practice.”

“Grab a bite to eat with me?” Allison suggested. Everything about her was smooth and put-together, but her voice was rough and unruly; like an unmade bed in the morning with make-up stains still on the pillows. Her top was low-cut, though Renee's eyes were much more drawn to the beautiful wings of her collarbone than to the generous view of her cleavage.

She swallowed down the dryness in her mouth and said, “That sounds nice.”

Allison smiled. Renee didn't ask if anyone else was coming with them, and Allison didn't say. She waited for Renee to finish getting ready and the two of them left the practice hall with their bags and their skates, Allison leading them over to her car and dropping their things in the back.

“I can't decide if my best friend would hate or love your car,” Renee said. It was some sort of fancy convertible, sleek and elegant; but also a bright, lurid pink. Allison laughed as she slid into the driver's seat and had her hair artfully braided within seconds, not even glancing in the rearview mirror as she did it.

“What about you?” Allison asked her. “Where do you fall on that scale?”

“I don't really know much about cars,” Renee admitted. Allison hummed and drove them downtown, fast and reckless like she was on the rink, but always in control. Club music oozed from her speakers, dirty and alluring, and the wind grabbed fistfuls of Renee's hair until it felt electric against her scalp.

She checked her phone and saw that Andrew had replied: _you are no help_

“Boyfriend?” Allison asked.

“No,” Renee simply said, tapping her nails against her phone as she thought of what to text back. In the end, she settled for a simple _Talk to him_ and turned her phone off before slipping it back into her bag.

The restaurant was... expensive.

Renee pulled nervously at the holey sleeves of her old lace cardigan and wondered what Allison would say if she knew that Renee had bought all of her clothes at second hand stores except for her underwear, which came in cheap packs of seven. She tried to point out that she couldn't really afford to eat at a place like this but Allison just waved her off and got them a seat upstairs at the window, overlooking the sunset, traffic lights shimmering in the distance. The blue of the sky was clear and holy, the trees outside stretched upwards as if in prayer.

“It's beautiful,” Renee murmured, taking it all in. She was continuously overcome with how beautiful the world was, underneath all the cruelty.

Allison looked pleased and ordered for both of them before Renee had even glanced at the menu. The waiter brought water and wine and Renee had to tell her that she didn't drink, but Allison only shrugged and sipped at her glass of white wine, studying her across the table as they waited for their food.

“So, Renee,” she said after a few minutes of loaded silence, her head cocked to the side. “Are you one of us?”

“What do you mean?”

“You're part of the team,” Allison explained, “but do you _play for our team_?”

Renee picked up her water and considered the question. Their salads and a bread basket arrived, and Allison shook out her cloth napkin and placed it over her lap. Renee did the same.

“I am attracted to people of all genders,” Renee said at last. “I'm not sure where that puts me in your metaphor.”

Allison's red lips opened into a smile like an oyster and her eyes crinkled gently at the corners.

“Welcome to the team,” she murmured, lifting her wine glass in a small toast. They talked about something else then – their teammates, Renee's job, Allison's plans for the future – and before she knew it, the evening had smouldered down to empty plates and candle stubs.

Allison ordered espresso and an Italian liqueur that looked like molten gold in the light. Renee stirred two spoonfuls of sugar into her espresso and nibbled at the small piece of dark chocolate that came with it, savouring the bitter taste. Dan had told her about Seth last week, when Allison had shown up to practice fuming and ill-tempered, and she rolled her question around in her mouth for a while before shaping it into words.

“Do you come here often with your boyfriend?” Renee asked carefully, licking the little spoon and setting it down. Allison looked at her with sharp amusement and threw back her espresso in one go.

“No,” she said. “He doesn't care for this sort of thing.”

“Fair enough,” Renee said. She could understand that; as exquisite as this place was, she thought she much preferred Jean surprising her with fresh pastries from the French bakery where he worked, or getting greasy burgers together after sparring with Andrew and stealing his sweet potato fries.

She didn't mention it again until they were back in the car and Allison asked where to drive her.

“Was this a date?”

Allison looked amused again, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel.

“I thought that was clear.”

“I just wanted to check,” Renee said lightly. “What about your boyfriend?”

Allison snorted. “He says it's fine if I cheat as long as it's with a woman. I'd be stupid not to use that to my advantage, no?”

She shrugged easily, light reflecting off her collarbone and her earrings.

“Why are you with him, then?” Renee wanted to know.

“Oh, I love him,” Allison laughed, stopping the car at a red light and fishing out a tube of lipstick to reapply in the rearview mirror. “Don't worry your pretty little head about these things, hm? It's really not a big deal.”

“Sorry,” Renee said quietly. “Not the kind of deal I'm looking for.”

Allison put the cap back on her lipstick with a final-sounding click and looked at her. The light turned green.

“Alright,” she said, voice curling like smoke in the darkness. “Can't blame me for trying.”

“I had a lovely night,” Renee assured her. “Thank you.”

Allison smiled and drove her home.

~

“I think,” Renee said slowly, “that you might need to buy a new pot.”

Jean looked down forlornly at the black mass that had caked to the bottom of the pot. The little kitchenette in his dorm smelled strongly of burnt sugar, sharp and bitter in Renee's nose, a steel sponge scrubbing out the more delicate aromas of fresh pears and subtle spices. She went to open a window and Jean dropped the pot into the sink with a sigh.

“Let's try again,” he said, rallying, and rummaged in a cupboard for a clean pot. This time Renee stood guard over the melting sugar while Jean finished slicing the pears with long, skilled fingers. He had a proper chef's knife that slid through the fruit like butter, and Renee knew, instinctively, how she would have to throw it to kill a man.

The caramel bubbled, golden brown, and she hastily took it off the heat. Little flecks of vanilla swirled in the frothing liquid. Jean wiped his hands on a towel and came up behind her, showing her how to pour the caramel into the pan to coat it evenly.

“Now, the pears,” he murmured. He picked up a slice and pressed it down into the thick caramel. Renee could feel his hip and shoulder next to hers, a gentle warmth. They filled the pan with pears, then carefully lifted the rolled-out dough on top, and Jean tucked it down like a blanket around the fruit before it went into the oven.

“I will make whipped cream,” Jean decided, tapping his fingers against the counter. “It goes well with the tarte.”

“That sounds nice,” Renee said. “Do you want me to make some tea?”

“Yes, please.”

It had finally cooled down a little, the sunlight sweet and brittle behind clouds like hardened caramel. Renee enjoyed the breeze coming in through the window and chose the lemon jasmine tea for herself and a fragrant white peach for Jean, measuring out the tea leaves with a spoon. Jean scraped another vanilla bean clean of its seeds and carefully folded them into the whipped cream, then put the bowl in the fridge while they waited for the cake.

“Renee...”

“Hmm?”

Jean was looking intently into the depths of his tea cup, avoiding her eyes.

“May I confide in you about something?”

“Of course.” Renee reached out and lightly cupped her hand around one of Jean's before withdrawing again. “What's on your mind?”

Jean put down his cup and took a deep breath.

~

It was soothingly dark in Renee's room, the only source of light coming from her laptop screen. She and Andrew were watching Sense8 and sharing a pint of birthday cake ice cream with rainbow sprinkles, Renee curled against his side, both in their pyjamas. Andrew smelled faintly like cigarette smoke and boy sweat, and the t-shirt he wore wasn't black, which meant it wasn't his.

“That's you,” Andrew hummed, pointing his spoon at the screen where Sun Bak was taking out several men at once with her bare hands.

“Oh?” Renee smiled. “Then you're Wolfgang.”

Andrew shrugged, accepting this, and dropped his spoon in the empty ice cream carton before draping an arm around her and tucking her in closer to his side. Renee inhaled his familiar scent and wrapped her arms around her middle. There was a twinge in her guts and she felt vulnerable and unbalanced; her period was due soon, a waxing moon in her belly, and she barely realised that she was crying until she felt Andrew's hand in her hair.

She let it happen. It was just emotional overspill. Sometimes the world got a little too big and too sad for her to bear, or maybe that was just another way of saying “complex PTSD,” as her therapist called it. It was good to let it out, though. She cried a bit for Jean, for the scars on his chest from a surgery he'd gone through all on his own without anyone to be there for him, and the family that didn't accept him for who he was and still called him by the wrong name. She cried about her date with Allison, because it had been lovely and because it had ended, and she cried because once upon a time she'd been a little bit in love with Andrew, too. She cried about the little girl at the soup kitchen and the dead dog on the sidewalk and her knives in Andrew's armbands.

Andrew stroked her hair until she was done, then he got up and made them hot chocolate.

He added a generous splash of hazelnut syrup to Renee's mug and some fudge sauce to his own, brought both over to her bed and sat back down in the nest they'd made. Renee finished drying her face and accepted her mug with a wobbly little, “Thanks,” wrapping her hands around the mug until the heat felt almost painful.

“I would have spiked it, but I know you don't have any alcohol,” Andrew said, frowning a bit.

“This is fine,” Renee assured him. “Just what I needed.”

Andrew paused the current episode since they weren't paying attention anymore and looked at the still image of his alter-ego on screen.

“I slept with Neil,” he said into the silence, still frowning.

“Oh?” Renee made. “How was it?”

After a long, slow moment of mulling it over, Andrew said, “Good.”

Renee smiled. “I'm happy for you, then.”

They were quiet again, sipping their hot chocolate. Renee could sense that Andrew wasn't done with the topic yet and let him find his path through the thicket of words in his head, rubbing her feet against each other and wondering idly what colour she would paint her toe nails next. Maybe something autumnal; a soft orange or purple.

“He was very quiet,” Andrew said at last, voice spiked with something like anger, though Renee knew him well enough to recognise it as uncertainty.

“Some people are,” she pointed out gently. “Or are you worried he didn't enjoy it?”

“He said he did, after,” Andrew murmured, thumb rubbing over the print on his mug. “He looked... I don't think he was lying.”

“I'm sure he wasn't, Andrew. I think you'll just have to trust him on this. Or,” her mouth twitched mischievously, “work harder next time to get him to be more vocal about his enjoyment.”

Andrew choked a little on his hot chocolate. There was a dimple in his cheek, like he was trying not to laugh, and Renee felt an answering hitch of amusement in her own chest.

“Oh, Renee. I live for the moments when the real you comes out to play from behind your good little Christian girl mask.”

“The real me quite likes the real you, too,” Renee grinned.

“I am always the real me,” Andrew snorted. “As I've told thirteen shrinks before you.”

“And what did lucky number thirteen say to that?”

“Nothing, because she knew I was right.”

Somehow Renee doubted that, but what went on in Andrew's therapy sessions was Andrew's business, just as what went on in hers was hers. Once upon a time they'd met in the waiting room of Betsy Dobson's office, and it was an unspoken rule between them not to pry into the things said behind Bee's closed door.

“I'm going to ask Jean out on a date,” Renee said, changing the topic. “I think he's going to say yes.”

“Of course he is,” Andrew scoffed. “Tell me when so I can get my knives.”

“I won't stop being your friend just because I have a boyfriend, Andrew. Did your mother never teach you how to share?” Renee teased, rolling quickly out of reach when Andrew moved in to pinch her in retaliation. He stole the rest of her hot chocolate instead, then leaned forward to unfreeze Wolfgang's face on the screen, and they watched the next two episodes in comfortable silence, only commenting from time to time on the characters' fighting styles or the unnecessary straight romance.

~

It wasn't really a date in the end, but Renee was in no rush and a movie night with friends seemed like a good first step. Jean was happy to be invited and offered to drive her to the apartment that Katelyn shared with her sister and two other girls. He brought a giant bowl of homemade tiramisu – Renee wondered how he had managed to fit it into his small dorm fridge – and Renee tucked her fruit salad securely beside it before getting into the passenger seat of Jean's small, silver car.

Most of the Vixens were already there, spread around the living room on comfortable cushions and squashy beanbags. Allison looked Jean up and down and gave Renee a wink, and she slid her hand into Jean's and squeezed it for a moment, feeling her face grow warm as Jean looked at her with wide, pleased eyes.

Katelyn and Aaron were in the kitchen, mixing drinks. Katelyn was giggling over Aaron using a tupperware box as a cocktail shaker and there was something in his face that Renee recognised from Andrew when he tried not to laugh.

“Oh, good,” Katelyn said when she spotted Renee. “Now you can keep an eye on Andrew. Marissa tried to flirt with Neil earlier and he and Aaron both looked like they were five seconds away from murdering her.”

“I don't think that's necessary,” Renee mused, glancing back to where she could just see Andrew and Neil on the sofa. They seemed rather oblivious to anything going on around them, and there was a vivid purple hickey peeking out of Andrew's collar that Neil was fingering reverently, making it quite clear who was responsible for it.

“I brought Jean,” Renee said, hiding her smile. “Jean, this is Katelyn, and her boyfriend Aaron.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jean said politely.

“Damn, he really is gorgeous,” Katelyn whistled. “Aaron, maybe you should grow your hair out again.”

Aaron looked unimpressed at the idea and Renee quickly ushered Jean out of the kitchen after they'd put their desserts away. The coffee table was already piled high with snacks and someone had put on Mulan. The only available seats left were on the sofa next to Andrew and Neil, so Renee squeezed them in and found a bowl of the wasabi nuts that Jean liked. Perhaps she'd have to take him out for spicy food some time, no one else she knew had her spice tolerance.

“This was my favourite movie as a child,” Jean confessed quietly, fondness resting in the corners of his mouth. Renee curled her hand around his again and he stroked his thumb over her fingers.

“I didn't see it until I was twenty,” she murmured, feeling a little sad at the thought of a childhood spent wandering unsafe neighbourhoods. “But I liked it a lot once I did.”

Jean's thumb kept stroking her hand. Someone turned off the lights and Renee tried to focus on the movie and ignore the fact that Andrew and Neil were making out now. Quiet as they were, she couldn't help wondering if she was meant to do the same with Jean, but when she glanced over at him out of the corner of her eyes he seemed happily engrossed in the movie, and she relaxed against his side a bit more.

There would be time for such things. For now they were holding hands and sharing wasabi nuts, surrounded by friends, and that was enough.

~

“So, let me get this straight,” Dan said, immediately laughing at her own joke. “Are all of us bi? Are we the bi squad?”

“Let's see,” Thea said, wedged in next to her with her undercut freshly shaved down, wearing a white tank top that showed off her impressive biceps. “You're bi, I'm most definitely bi, Allison's bi...”

Allison gave a salute and bit into the slice of melon that had been stuck decoratively to the rim of her glass.

“I'm in,” Renee grinned when Thea pointed her beer in her direction.

“Good girl,” Thea said approvingly.

“Katelyn's not bi,” Allison pointed out.

“Katelyn's not bi?!”

“I could be bi,” Katelyn purred, running her hand over Thea's ridiculously sculpted shoulder and giggling when Thea flexed.

“We'll make you honorary bicurious member of the squad,” Dan decreed, tipping back her whisky. “Wait, does that mean we have no straight girls on the team?”

It took them all an embarrassingly long moment to go through the rest of their currently absent team members and come up with one.

“Marissa!” Katelyn finally remembered.

“Right. Marissa is our token straight member,” Dan nodded. “The lesbians still outnumber us, but I can live with that.”

“Laila and Alvarez will be pleased to know.”

“We still need a team mascot, guys. Any suggestions?”

“I vote Neil,” Katelyn giggled. “He's cute and fast and vicious, and he even looks a bit like a fox. Also, he's really small, so we can basically tuck him in a duffel bag with some trail mix and smuggle him along to away games.”

Renee tuned out of the conversation for a moment to answer a text from Jean, who assured her that he would be there to watch her first match next week. She made a mental note to warn Andrew that he would have competition as her number one fan, smiling to herself when she imagined the two of them standing side by side in silent mutual distrust.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Renee looked up to find Dan hooking a sisterly arm around her. She smelled like whisky and deodorant and the excessively expensive French vanilla shower gel that all the girls kept borrowing from Allison, and Renee leaned slightly into her and tucked her phone away.

“Just thinking about the people I love.”

“Aww,” Dan made, “god, you're so cute and pure, I don't know how to handle you sometimes. You sure I can't convince you to a proper drink?”

“No, thank you,” Renee said, trailing a finger through the condensation on her can of iced tea. The napkin underneath it was damp, the table ringed with the imprints of the glasses and bottles it had borne before.

“You're having a good time, though?”

“Very,” Renee mumbled. Dan grinned and released her with a gentle tug on her hair.

“Good. The Vixens are your family now, we're not giving you back.”

It made her feel all warm and full inside, like a gentle steam was curling over her insides. She looked around at the other girls, Allison with her long nails tapping away at her phone, Thea's bold laugh as Katelyn recounted a story involving her ex-boyfriend and a cheerleader uniform; the friendly light of the bar and the soft buzz of her phone against her thigh.

No, she was right where she wanted to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated! If anyone wants to draw grumpy half asleep Andrew with the pink rainbow mug.... be my guest.... :'D
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://annawrites.tumblr.com/)


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